Sleep!

One of the most popular baby topics is getting your child to sleep (and maybe you can rest too). Most experts talk about sleep in two different phases, before 3 or 4 months and after that. There is a limit to what parents can do to influence the sleep of their small babies. However, after about three or four months experts are very clear that parents need to be training their little one in how to sleep well. I will not really talk about co-sleeping or family beds because this is just not a practice that our family intends to use.

Tips for newborn - 3 months old:

• Remember that your baby still needs to eat around the clock because he has a tiny tummy. Therefore he will wake up at night. Experts consider "sleeping through the night" to be a 5 hour stretch - until they are at least six months!
  
• Babies are LOUD sleepers - they suck, move, hiccup and can even cry while they are sleeping - there is no need to disturb them if they are sleeping even if their noises are keeping you awake.
  
• Typically babies should only be awake for one to two hours at a time. As soon as they show signs of tiredness you should help them get to sleep. (This has been a tough one for us - our little one likes to stay up for stretches of time and then sleep a bunch!)
  
• Watch for sleepy signals like yawning, pulling at the ears, rubbing their eyes etc. - get to know your baby's sleep signs.
• If a baby has trouble falling asleep there are a few things that are especially helpful to younger babies: Swaddle them, Shh them (literally make a loud shhing sound or get some kind of white noise - make it loud, our son loves the hair dryer), Swing/ rock or otherwise move them, Suck (either their hand or pacifier), Side lying or on their back. These are the 5 S's - they are also supposed to help with colicky infants.
• You can help your baby begin to learn day and night by having them sleep in areas that are nosier and have more light during the day and making sure that it is quiet and dark where they sleep at night.
  
• When you feed them at night keep them mostly in the dark - use a small nightlight or something similar to light your way and limit the diaper changes that you do.
  
• If your child is colicky you can tell by the rule of 3's: at least three times a week, for three hours a day, for three weeks straight. Often this occurs at the same time in the evening. Experts all have different ideas about what causes colic - Harvey Karp believes that using the 5 S's above will deter colic! If your child is colicky it should end around three or four months of age and it is essential that parents begin regular sleep training at that point for their little one.
  
• It is crucial to remember that this is only a short phase of their life and that soon they will be sleeping more regularly (God willing) with your help.
  

We'll talk about tips for four months and up next time!

Long time . . .

After being at home with my little one I wasn't sure that I had much to write about that would interest anyone else. I remember single friends wondering how staring at the baby could be a full night's entertainment. However, one of my friends asked about my "baby bibliography". I have actually read quite a few books about different aspects of raising a little one. Since they say it's best to write about what you know I have decided to share some of what I have gleaned from these books (and my limited experience) about different baby subjects. So stay tuned if you are interested in getting a summary of popular baby topics and the books that cover them. At some point I will move on to something more thought provoking - but being sleep deprived limits your deep thinking abilities! For each topic area I will share what seem to be the most important points and then review a few of the resources that have helped inform my viewpoint.

Hurry up and wait

This is a phrase I would use often with my boarding students. It seemed that I was forever trying to get all of us somewhere on time and once we got there (the doctor's office, the school, etc.) we had to wait. This pattern of life can wear you out. It can also become addictive - the rush of trying to get everything done and then the let down of the other party not being ready or lacking the same urgency that you have. It is hard to break out of the "hurry up" lifestyle. I really thought that I had broken some of this pattern this summer - but maybe not.

I have to say that I spent some of my pregnancy like this. I wanted it to hurry up so that I could have a little one in arms. Now that he is here I realize that most of our life right now is just waiting. Waiting for him to be hungry, to finish feeding, to wake up from his nap, etc. I am forced to wait and be still more than ever before (breastfeeding will do that to you). This is hard for me - I am good at the "hurry up" but God has been trying for a long time to teach me the waiting part. For my sanity and the health of our son I need to learn to enjoy the waiting part. I need to trust that there is a reason for the stillness and the waiting. At this point it is so that I can heal and he can grow. It's difficult when there is very little that I can do to help the waiting "go faster". God really doesn't need me to be hurrying all the time - in fact he often talks about being still and trusting in him - very rarely was Jesus in a hurry (even when people's lives were on the line). So hopefully, this is one of the first good lessons I'll learn from my son. I am still not very good at it - but I am realizing that it's not just about my learning anymore - it now effects him too. So I am trying to enjoy the waiting and the trust in the one who calls me to wait and be still. There will be future days of "hurry up" so for now I am trying to enjoy the waiting.

Do you want to be a hero?

A few weeks ago I gave a talk at the teen retreat at our church. I was shocked to discover that the only person named a "hero" in the Bible is Goliath. Everyone else we would call a "hero", God calls faithful. I was challenged by that - it is much more fun to be considered a hero than faithful. Plus, a hero seems to do it all themselves while someone who is faithful must have something or someone to be faithful to. The role call in Hebrews 11 is often called the "heroes of the faith". When you read their stories you realize that they had their foibles, problems, fears and insecurities. They aren't heroes of the type that we expect. God commends them not for their heroism, but for their faithfulness - even in the midst of their fear, sin and doubt.

Often heroes have a succesful "cause". However, the Bible clearly says that none of these faithful people received all that was promised to them. They lived onto a person - not in light of a cause. I was struck. Obviously these men did win battles, save the people, etc. However, that was not the full promise that God had for them. I rarely think about the full promise and often will only work on something that will have some success here and now. However, these men were faithful because they believed and followed the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow. They trusted the tomorrow to Him - even if it meant they wouldn't directly be a part of it.

This challenges me to be willing to play my part, to be faithful in what He's called me to, regardless of what the outcome might look like (or when it might be played out). Speaking of these "heroes" it says "They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground". Not too heroic, but faithful. I pray that I may be faithful too - even if it seems like there are many detours in the path. The destination isn't the completion of a program, the fixing of a problem or a person. As pilgrims, it is about the faithful journey along the way and the relationship with Him as you go.