Entering into Parenting

Although my enneagram says that I am a 1, I am almost a 5 - the researcher/observer. So obviously, for someone who wants to be right and loves to research I have read and thought about many subjects. Recently, you may have endured my gains in "parenting wisdom" - thank you for humoring me. Although my former job as "mom" to 30 high schoolers gave me a inkling of what it's like to parent - in about 3 weeks the rubber meets the road and my husband and I will become parents. I am sure everyone is anxious to see how our musings work out in real life! Please don't laugh and point too much!

There are a few things that I do think are valuable that I hope to remember as we become parents:

1. Tracy Hogg (the Baby Whisperer) talks about "beginning as you mean to go". I think that's one reason I've read, thought and prayed about this a lot. I want to have some sort of plan about where we are going so that we can start off on the right foot. Of course, a lot will depend on the personality of our little guy, but that is part of the adventure.

2. Be careful what you reinforce. Actually this lesson came from St. Augustine's Confessions. We are reading it in home group (yes, we are nerdy). The lesson yesterday talked about a culture that prized how you said things, not what you were saying. So you could say foul things, but as long as it sounded eloquent- it was acceptable. He also spoke about being more broken up over stories he was reading than the sin and issues in his own life (it sounded like people that can tell you the intrigue on Big Brother but aren't sure what's happening with their neighbor). So, I want to be thoughtful about what we value and encourage as a family.

3. Develop your family culture. I like the approach of Never Mind the Joneses (see sidebar) because he emphasizes some core values that families should consider - but does not expect everyone to adopt and use them in the same way. He confirms that there is no "one right way" to be a family, but every family should seek out how they are called to be a family. Sometimes, it seems like there is a "model family" and if you fall short of that ideal then you are not glorifying God. God is a God of diversity and he expects us to be who He created us to be - not like the Joneses.

4. The last thing is to be a team. I think talking about, praying about and knowing your kids can help you deal with the "suggestions" and decisions that come your way (even from well meaning friends, like me). If you've already discussed these things then you have some idea of where you are going, what you value and how you'll get there then you can guide your child in the way they should go.

We have been fortunate to be a part of a community with many families that are just beginning and they all look different (personality, style, job, etc.). I am excited to see what our family will grow into. So there are more musings - we'll see how these thoughts hold up as we put theory into practice.