Recently I was browsing the Family Life Today website and came across a link to this interesting article "Sorry but my children bore me to death!". It is an article written by a mom who doesn't enjoy the realities of parenting. She tells her children that she loves them but really doesn't want to spend too much time with them. I do agree with her caution that some people go overboard putting their children at the very center of their lives. However, the choice to have children requires a sacrifice - either of the parents or the child. It sounds like she is choosing to sacrifice raising her own children so that she does not have to give up her education and career plans.
A lot of people attack her because she seems selfish (which is true). However, I feel sorry for her because it seems that she cannot find joy in the little things. One of the things I am looking forward to most is the "new eyes" that kids can give you on life. They are so excited about the little things - as adults sometimes we forget the wonder of new flowers, little bugs and similar discoveries. This is obviously not higher order thinking - but it is good to remember to be awed and amazed at our world sometimes.
She is also missing the long term impact that parenting will have on your child. You are helping to shape a life - for better or worse. This is an activity that demands a lot of thought, care and discipline. It is difficult because the rewards (or sorrows) aren't reaped for years. So, it is hard to know if reading this book for the zillionth time or singing a silly nursery rhyme will make a difference - but the little things add up in the long run. If you aren't there to do them then you are missing out on the moments that will encourage, shape, discipline and grow your child. Either someone else will do it or the opportunity is lost forever.
So, although the little things that are new to them may not be too interesting, the actual process of helping to influence and shape a human being does call on all our emotional, physical and mental resources. This is hard work and frankly a lot of people aren't really up the challenge.
I have to agree with one comment that I read about her piece. It mentioned that this was a thought provoking article but she hopes that the author's kids never read it! I second that. For all of her talk about loving her children, love is at some point laying down your life for others. Not to the exclusion of your needs entirely (this is the danger of the child-centric mom) but at least to the extent that the child knows you have an interest in and respect their abilities.
Parenting is hard work and all work is boring at times. Just be careful about sending the message to your kids that they are boring, unimportant, not worth your time. I fear that's what she might be doing inadvertantly with her children. Children will cope because they are resilient - but at what expense?
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Garden IS Growing
I am pleased to share that I have not yet killed the plants in my garden (in part because it has been raining all week). I even have some little sprouts coming up. On the right is a little pumpkin sprout. On the left, if you look carefully, you can see that this little pumpkin sprout hasn't shed it's seed yet. How fun is that!In another happy surprise we have lots of nice things growing around our yard (beyond the dandelions - which my husband did hack down last weekend - he was surprised at how mighty they were). I found some ivy, some herbs, and other plants that I can't identify (mostly because I know nothing about plants). We have actually owned our house for a YEAR now. Hard to believe - but we didn't move in until June last year so we didn't see all of this spring growth. Below is the lovely flower that greets us as we step out our front doorstep. I had nothing to do with it's growth or development.
Feminists Offended by Abstinence
This is a long post - but this stuff really gets to me . . .
Today Yahoo had an article about a secular abstinence group at Harvard University. I was shocked to read that some feminists were upset by the line "You're worth waiting for" because it's a "relic" that values purity! To read an intelligent conversation about the value of modesty and purity to the WOMAN I encourage you to read A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit (I haven't read the whole thing but everyone who has says it's great). Let's just say one of her main arguments involves free milk.
The mindset discussed in this article has been around for at least a decade. My husband had a friend, who, as a freshman at a California college, attended a seminar similar to the one mentioned in the article. I think the story goes that at one point the presenter shared about safe sex methods available to these verile, freshman boys. At the end of the conversation my husbands' friend asked why the presenter didn't share about the sure-fire safe sex measure - abstienence. The presenter was a little taken aback at the suggestion that this would be an option.
Things like this really get me riled up. For health reasons alone (now that Texas is all but requiring young girls to have the HPV vaccine) one should think twice before having sex. Let me digress for a moment to discuss the HPV vaccine issue. This is the disease that can lead to cervical cancer that is VERY prevalent in young people. However, it is a sexually transmitted disease - that is the ONLY way to get it. I understand wanting to stop an epidemic problem (or is it endemic) - but legislators telling my 11 year old that we know they'll probably have sex so they need this shot - that's a little much for me. Having the parental option - of course; requiring it at such a young age - I don't think so.
Okay, back to the "wise" feminists at Harvard. In the midst of all the conversation about rights over your own body, the biology of sex, etc., one thing is rarely mentioned - the heart. This is the part that gets me - women are told to be callous and free. Sex was created as an expression of intimacy and it can't be divorced from that without ripping at your emotions, relationships and your soul. I think that we need to recognize ALL the implications of premarital sex and prepare our young girls with the full picture - sex isn't just biology - it's also psychology - especially for them. This is not because we are the "weaker" sex it is because (as science continues to show us in all other arenas) body, spirit and mind are entertwined on so many levels. So you can have "safe sex" biologically, but it's almost impossible to do this emotionally.
The other thing that irritates me is that in two generations science and society have colluded to overturn long held propriety and morality. So that now, if you choose to be pure you are a "relic". Putting aside the moral and religious implications, if you choose to be free of disease, if you choose to ensure your children have a two parents (as much as you can anyway), if you choose not to do damage to your own body or emotions - somehow you are a non-thinking being blindly following tradition and outdated paternal social patterns. College students are adults (except when their mommy's show up to try to bail them out because they broke multiple dorm regulations), so they can make choices about their own body and how they'll use it - I agree with that. But today, it is almost countercultural to choose ancient wisdom over recently found "truths" that encourage you to do things just because you can.
Colleges are supposed to be places of academic discussion, varied opinions and open minds. So, my final issue is that according to the article 29%, admittedly a minority of college students, choose to abstain. If this were ANY OTHER (liberal) ISSUE everyone would be supporting the right of the minority to speak and share their views. But because it does not coincide with a liberal thought pattern (which according to the article seems to support the free speech of a student run porn magazine) - it must be belittled and touted as backwards, fuddy duddy and unintelligent. Props to the student paper columnist who didn't fall into this common trap.
So I just want to say that I support this "relic" behavior that a minority choose to follow.
Today Yahoo had an article about a secular abstinence group at Harvard University. I was shocked to read that some feminists were upset by the line "You're worth waiting for" because it's a "relic" that values purity! To read an intelligent conversation about the value of modesty and purity to the WOMAN I encourage you to read A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit (I haven't read the whole thing but everyone who has says it's great). Let's just say one of her main arguments involves free milk.
The mindset discussed in this article has been around for at least a decade. My husband had a friend, who, as a freshman at a California college, attended a seminar similar to the one mentioned in the article. I think the story goes that at one point the presenter shared about safe sex methods available to these verile, freshman boys. At the end of the conversation my husbands' friend asked why the presenter didn't share about the sure-fire safe sex measure - abstienence. The presenter was a little taken aback at the suggestion that this would be an option.
Things like this really get me riled up. For health reasons alone (now that Texas is all but requiring young girls to have the HPV vaccine) one should think twice before having sex. Let me digress for a moment to discuss the HPV vaccine issue. This is the disease that can lead to cervical cancer that is VERY prevalent in young people. However, it is a sexually transmitted disease - that is the ONLY way to get it. I understand wanting to stop an epidemic problem (or is it endemic) - but legislators telling my 11 year old that we know they'll probably have sex so they need this shot - that's a little much for me. Having the parental option - of course; requiring it at such a young age - I don't think so.
Okay, back to the "wise" feminists at Harvard. In the midst of all the conversation about rights over your own body, the biology of sex, etc., one thing is rarely mentioned - the heart. This is the part that gets me - women are told to be callous and free. Sex was created as an expression of intimacy and it can't be divorced from that without ripping at your emotions, relationships and your soul. I think that we need to recognize ALL the implications of premarital sex and prepare our young girls with the full picture - sex isn't just biology - it's also psychology - especially for them. This is not because we are the "weaker" sex it is because (as science continues to show us in all other arenas) body, spirit and mind are entertwined on so many levels. So you can have "safe sex" biologically, but it's almost impossible to do this emotionally.
The other thing that irritates me is that in two generations science and society have colluded to overturn long held propriety and morality. So that now, if you choose to be pure you are a "relic". Putting aside the moral and religious implications, if you choose to be free of disease, if you choose to ensure your children have a two parents (as much as you can anyway), if you choose not to do damage to your own body or emotions - somehow you are a non-thinking being blindly following tradition and outdated paternal social patterns. College students are adults (except when their mommy's show up to try to bail them out because they broke multiple dorm regulations), so they can make choices about their own body and how they'll use it - I agree with that. But today, it is almost countercultural to choose ancient wisdom over recently found "truths" that encourage you to do things just because you can.
Colleges are supposed to be places of academic discussion, varied opinions and open minds. So, my final issue is that according to the article 29%, admittedly a minority of college students, choose to abstain. If this were ANY OTHER (liberal) ISSUE everyone would be supporting the right of the minority to speak and share their views. But because it does not coincide with a liberal thought pattern (which according to the article seems to support the free speech of a student run porn magazine) - it must be belittled and touted as backwards, fuddy duddy and unintelligent. Props to the student paper columnist who didn't fall into this common trap.
So I just want to say that I support this "relic" behavior that a minority choose to follow.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Finding a good Bible story
My husband and I are a little leery of lots of toddler and children's Bibles. In part because they often fail to tell the whole story. They tend to leave out sin and other key things that happen in the Bible. They often tell the story of Noah but don't really explain why God felt it necessary to flood the whole earth. So I have been on the lookout for books that tell the whole story. Right now I am reading The Rhyme Bible Storybook. We are now reading through it for the 3rd or 4th time. I like it because it does rhyme which is fun and it gets at the point of the story pretty well. It doesn't really talk about sin or anything like that - but he's also only 6 months old.
Eventually we will move into other Bible storybooks and I have a few candidates. One was brought to my attention by a cousin. Actually it's series of books and tape recordings called A Visit with Mrs. G. The website leaves a lot to be desired but the materials are quality (according to my cousin - who is a reliable source). She says that the stories are very close to what is found in the Bible - always a plus.
The other resource I found at a friend's house. It is the Alice in Bibleland series. I had my doubts because it sounds pretty cheesy. However, I flipped through their copy of Jonah. I was pleasantly suprised to see that it did not end when Jonah decides to go to Ninevah (like most stories) instead it finishes the story and talks about Jonah basically pouting because God was saving people. Very few people ever hear the end of the story and this children's book was telling the whole thing. So, although it may sound hokey I think this series has something going for it too.
The other comment I'll make is that it might be worthwhile to try and buy books through ebay. A collection of "Alice in Bibleland" is a lot cheaper on ebay than at your local store. So there are a few of my thoughts about that. Although if you check out Amazon it seems like they are trying to sell these books for a cent + shipping ($3.49) - so I'm not sure what that's all about.
Eventually we will move into other Bible storybooks and I have a few candidates. One was brought to my attention by a cousin. Actually it's series of books and tape recordings called A Visit with Mrs. G. The website leaves a lot to be desired but the materials are quality (according to my cousin - who is a reliable source). She says that the stories are very close to what is found in the Bible - always a plus.
The other resource I found at a friend's house. It is the Alice in Bibleland series. I had my doubts because it sounds pretty cheesy. However, I flipped through their copy of Jonah. I was pleasantly suprised to see that it did not end when Jonah decides to go to Ninevah (like most stories) instead it finishes the story and talks about Jonah basically pouting because God was saving people. Very few people ever hear the end of the story and this children's book was telling the whole thing. So, although it may sound hokey I think this series has something going for it too.
The other comment I'll make is that it might be worthwhile to try and buy books through ebay. A collection of "Alice in Bibleland" is a lot cheaper on ebay than at your local store. So there are a few of my thoughts about that. Although if you check out Amazon it seems like they are trying to sell these books for a cent + shipping ($3.49) - so I'm not sure what that's all about.
Montessori and Religion
Montessori was a devout Catholic (she was from Italy at the turn of the last century after all). Although her teachings are not directly grounded in faith, I recently found an interesting article about her views on developing faith in a child. There are quite a few points that I liked and that helped me think more about our own son's faith development.
She argues that from ages 0 - 5 it is crucial that parents and others demonstrate God's love by providing for the child and helping them feel secure (much like Erikson's first stage of development - trust vs. mistrust - although he places that stage in the first year of life). This grounds the child in God's love for them. I like that a lot. She warns against making church seem like school, lessons to be learned, etc. Although as a Catholic she emphasizes the mystery of faith, I would say that this approach also emphasizes the fact that God is relational - he wants to be in relationship with his people. We need to build a foundaiton that teaches children that God loves them through the people he has put in their lives (this is also a key element of the book How People Grow by Cloud and Townsend - a great overview of the book is about 3/4 of the way down this page).
The next stage, ages 6 - 12, is what other theorists call concrete operational (Piaget) or Industry vs. Inferiority (Erikson). Basically, children are beginning to figure out what they are able to do on their own but they are still very literal. This is the time where you often hear kids trying to figure out right and wrong, fair and unfair, etc. Montessori believes that this the best time to start teaching about the moral part of faith. Kids this age have a natural interest in what is good and bad and this is the time to introduce them to what God's word says about that. She argues that doing it at a younger age is teaching them something that they really can't understand. They will follow your rules because they like to please and follow others, but it is not until they are about 6 or so that they can begin to understand more about right and wrong - and sin. I guess that's one reason in faith circles they talk about this being the age of accountability. When kids are old enough to start making choices about their faith and what they will believe.
The final point that she makes, that I like, is about the changes we have seen in celebrating Christmas. Christmas used to be a 12 day celebration and each day you would get a small gift or at least you would wait until the 12th day (when the Magi came on January 6th) to open your presents. This approach allows Christmas to be about Jesus and his birth and the presents to be spread out (many parents talk about their kids being OVERWHELMED by presents) and connected with Christ's birth in a slightly different way. My husband claims that he's told me about this before and I think he has. But I like the idea of celebrating Christmas this way because it helps to focus on the important parts and spreads out the craziness. So, we might give this a try this year. Did I write about the neat Advent ideas I've found? Anyway, that's another discussion.
So there are some thoughts on faith formation in the Montessori way. Now, there is a whole movement called Godly Play (out of the Episcopal church) that teaches the stories of the Bible thorugh Montessori like materials. But that's another story too.
She argues that from ages 0 - 5 it is crucial that parents and others demonstrate God's love by providing for the child and helping them feel secure (much like Erikson's first stage of development - trust vs. mistrust - although he places that stage in the first year of life). This grounds the child in God's love for them. I like that a lot. She warns against making church seem like school, lessons to be learned, etc. Although as a Catholic she emphasizes the mystery of faith, I would say that this approach also emphasizes the fact that God is relational - he wants to be in relationship with his people. We need to build a foundaiton that teaches children that God loves them through the people he has put in their lives (this is also a key element of the book How People Grow by Cloud and Townsend - a great overview of the book is about 3/4 of the way down this page).
The next stage, ages 6 - 12, is what other theorists call concrete operational (Piaget) or Industry vs. Inferiority (Erikson). Basically, children are beginning to figure out what they are able to do on their own but they are still very literal. This is the time where you often hear kids trying to figure out right and wrong, fair and unfair, etc. Montessori believes that this the best time to start teaching about the moral part of faith. Kids this age have a natural interest in what is good and bad and this is the time to introduce them to what God's word says about that. She argues that doing it at a younger age is teaching them something that they really can't understand. They will follow your rules because they like to please and follow others, but it is not until they are about 6 or so that they can begin to understand more about right and wrong - and sin. I guess that's one reason in faith circles they talk about this being the age of accountability. When kids are old enough to start making choices about their faith and what they will believe.
The final point that she makes, that I like, is about the changes we have seen in celebrating Christmas. Christmas used to be a 12 day celebration and each day you would get a small gift or at least you would wait until the 12th day (when the Magi came on January 6th) to open your presents. This approach allows Christmas to be about Jesus and his birth and the presents to be spread out (many parents talk about their kids being OVERWHELMED by presents) and connected with Christ's birth in a slightly different way. My husband claims that he's told me about this before and I think he has. But I like the idea of celebrating Christmas this way because it helps to focus on the important parts and spreads out the craziness. So, we might give this a try this year. Did I write about the neat Advent ideas I've found? Anyway, that's another discussion.
So there are some thoughts on faith formation in the Montessori way. Now, there is a whole movement called Godly Play (out of the Episcopal church) that teaches the stories of the Bible thorugh Montessori like materials. But that's another story too.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Not so little anymore
It is hard to believe but we are already starting to put items away that our little one has outgrown. Right now I am running his carseat and bouncer cover through the wash before we store them away for the next baby. After learning that he is 29 1/2 inches at the doctor on Monday we decided that he should move out of his infant seat which is for babies up to 29 inches. He likes his new seat and on one of the first rides christened it by spitting up all over it. He doesn't fight being in this car seat as much as he did in the other car seat.
Since about Monday he has also done very well sitting up on his own for long periods of time (1o minutes plus) which means that he really doesn't need the bouncer anymore. He hasn't really been in it for the past month anyway.
They say that they grow up so fast and they really do. One of his friends who is only two weeks older is already crawling and trying to pull up on things. Our little guy seems to think rolling will suit him just fine for the time being. He does try to push up a little to crawl - but he ends up going backwards or rolling over in the process.
Last week when Grandma was here she said that she had never seen a baby so young so interested in his toys. He really does like to play with them. He will chew, twist and turn them for up to 10 or 15 minutes without interruption sometimes. I've heard that concentration is a good thing - let's hope so.
He is still enjoying eating with a spoon. He was quite taken aback when I used water instead of pumped milk to make his rice cereal. He looked at me strangely and kept making faces while he ate it. Today we tried the millet according to the Super Baby Food book. Well, I didn't quite prepare it correctly so it was rejected. I have figured out the error of my ways and hopefully he'll take it tomorrow. So there's a little update on our little one.
Since about Monday he has also done very well sitting up on his own for long periods of time (1o minutes plus) which means that he really doesn't need the bouncer anymore. He hasn't really been in it for the past month anyway.
They say that they grow up so fast and they really do. One of his friends who is only two weeks older is already crawling and trying to pull up on things. Our little guy seems to think rolling will suit him just fine for the time being. He does try to push up a little to crawl - but he ends up going backwards or rolling over in the process.
Last week when Grandma was here she said that she had never seen a baby so young so interested in his toys. He really does like to play with them. He will chew, twist and turn them for up to 10 or 15 minutes without interruption sometimes. I've heard that concentration is a good thing - let's hope so.
He is still enjoying eating with a spoon. He was quite taken aback when I used water instead of pumped milk to make his rice cereal. He looked at me strangely and kept making faces while he ate it. Today we tried the millet according to the Super Baby Food book. Well, I didn't quite prepare it correctly so it was rejected. I have figured out the error of my ways and hopefully he'll take it tomorrow. So there's a little update on our little one.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Charlotte Mason Education
One of the families I used to hang out with used the Charlotte Mason approach to homeschooling. It is loosely structured, built on great books and generally seems like a good approach. It is sort of unschooling but not with an in your face, we don't like authority bent to it. Anyway, I found her 6 set series of books at half price books one day and got it for a steal of a deal. I have now found that you can read the original or a summary of almost the whole thing on line. Actually, I was surprised that her work wasn't included in the book I just read about alternatives parents have for educating their children. He had some other curriculum philosohpies that I hadn't heard of but not this approach.
As I consider the possiblity of homeschooling or at least how I want to create an environment for my little one to learn in, her thoughts are helpful. She has 20 basic principles that her work is based on. I do like the idea of narrating because I think it does help children internalize what they are learning when they can retell it. She also focuses on training of the will of a child - which is a key concept and something that really isn't going to be trained in a school setting. So, this is yet another idea among many about educating your child.
As I consider the possiblity of homeschooling or at least how I want to create an environment for my little one to learn in, her thoughts are helpful. She has 20 basic principles that her work is based on. I do like the idea of narrating because I think it does help children internalize what they are learning when they can retell it. She also focuses on training of the will of a child - which is a key concept and something that really isn't going to be trained in a school setting. So, this is yet another idea among many about educating your child.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Cross Texas Adventure
I am a planner. Even for "vacation" we always had a plan and schedule to maintain (even loosely). However, my husbands family doesn't really plan and this past week his mom was on vacation visiting us. I am not used to driving long distances, trying lots of new things or really having "free time". In part because many of my previous jobs were so overwhelming that even most holidays I didn't really get off - much less other days during the year. So, I am still adjusting to the concept of "free time". Because my husband had a few days off we ended up traveling quite a ways. In fact, in the 14 months we've owned our vehicle we have driven it about 8,000 miles - in the past week we added another 1,000 miles!!!
It was fun to be spontaneous and try new things (except when the little one did not really like the hotel room). Actually, my mother in law normally has a plan - she just doesn't really tell everyone exactly what it is - so for us it is an adventure. We went to a great steakhouse in the middle of nowhere - Lowake - Texas. We saw the graves of my husbands' ancestors and the house where he used to visit his family when he was little. We checked out a lake that I haven't been to before and ate at TONS of different restaurants. My son was actually pretty patient with all of this change (of course yesterday he also took a 3 1/2 hour nap - I think he was WORN out!)
So I am realizing that sometimes it's okay to go on an adventure, not quite know the plan and just enjoy the journey. So maybe we will go on more car trips in the future - we'll see.
It was fun to be spontaneous and try new things (except when the little one did not really like the hotel room). Actually, my mother in law normally has a plan - she just doesn't really tell everyone exactly what it is - so for us it is an adventure. We went to a great steakhouse in the middle of nowhere - Lowake - Texas. We saw the graves of my husbands' ancestors and the house where he used to visit his family when he was little. We checked out a lake that I haven't been to before and ate at TONS of different restaurants. My son was actually pretty patient with all of this change (of course yesterday he also took a 3 1/2 hour nap - I think he was WORN out!)
So I am realizing that sometimes it's okay to go on an adventure, not quite know the plan and just enjoy the journey. So maybe we will go on more car trips in the future - we'll see.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
How does your garden grow?
Hopefully like the dandelions! Our backyard came equipped with a very nice little raised bed for vegetables. I figured we should take advantage of this. So, while my mother in law is visiting (she actually has a green thumb) I decided we should start a vegetable garden of our own. Yesterday we bought all the stuff (herbs, squash, peas, pumpkins, tomatoes, peppers and even some grapes!). Then we started preparing the soil. It turns out that our little vegetable garden had lots of weeds but also very good soil. We also upset quite a few rolly pollys. Today we will plant our plants.
As regards the dandelions, my husband says that he is going to attack them on Monday. They are very lush (especially after our recent rain). So, we'll see. This little garden is an experiment because I normally have a brown thumb. I figure this is worth a try though and hopefully next year my little one can at least dig in the dirt with me a little bit.
As regards the dandelions, my husband says that he is going to attack them on Monday. They are very lush (especially after our recent rain). So, we'll see. This little garden is an experiment because I normally have a brown thumb. I figure this is worth a try though and hopefully next year my little one can at least dig in the dirt with me a little bit.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Goal Setting with kids
In Keys to Your Child's Heart I like the way Gary Smalley discusses setting goals with your kids. He emphasizes teaching children about goals and allowing kids to set their own goals. He encourages parents to begin by asking the child what level of competency and ability they want to achieve in that area on a scale of 1 to 10. One is that they want to learn enough to get by, 5 is average and 10 indicates that they hope to be a professional or expert someday. I thought this is a good way for parents to help understand the level of their children's interest and figure out how to best support them to that level. He gives the example of his daughter and piano lessons. As parents, they hoped her interest was at about a level 8 (interested in performing for others, etc.) . However, she was only interested in about a level 5 in that area and so she became proficient but did not really want to go any further.
I like this idea because sometimes I feel we tell kids that they need to be excellent at everything and that just isn't so. This helps kids understand that they can make choices about how they spend their time and helps them to consider what they want to achieve. It gives parents a way to gauge and support their child's interest and motivation in a subject. We can't all be good at everything, but if we think about it we can plan and prepare ourselves to be excellent in the things that are most important to us. As parents, it's our job to help our children figure out their interests and then help them to grow into those areas well. It's this type of parenting that is meant in the scripture "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6). I don't think this means only the spiritual or moral side of development, it also means helping our children discover the unique way God made them and how to use their gifts to the full potential.
I like this idea because sometimes I feel we tell kids that they need to be excellent at everything and that just isn't so. This helps kids understand that they can make choices about how they spend their time and helps them to consider what they want to achieve. It gives parents a way to gauge and support their child's interest and motivation in a subject. We can't all be good at everything, but if we think about it we can plan and prepare ourselves to be excellent in the things that are most important to us. As parents, it's our job to help our children figure out their interests and then help them to grow into those areas well. It's this type of parenting that is meant in the scripture "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6). I don't think this means only the spiritual or moral side of development, it also means helping our children discover the unique way God made them and how to use their gifts to the full potential.
Citizen Schools Follow Up
I was so struck by the Citizen Schools program that I had to contact them. They were quick to respond. I have already had my email passed through to the state director here in Texas. We'll see what happens from here. My brother commented that he was in the fortunate position of knowing quite a few professionals in a variety of fields and hoped that his children could benefit from working with all of these people. I am currently reading The Key to Your Child's Heart by Gary Smalley. He talks frequently about the impact of having others speak into the lives of your children. He also has a lot to share about helping set up discipline in your home and goals with your children. It is overall a good book. I am not sure if I would totally follow his structure for discipline but I like the general idea.
One thing I truly appreciate about my parents is that they tried to find trustworthy adults for us to be around, learn from and go to when we were teenagers. They found great coaches for my brother to encourage his athletic interests and they found good teachers and friends to encourage my writing and faith interests. Instead of feeling that they must be solely responsible for our upbrining, they shared us with others who were able to encourage our passions and help us to grow. This is the type of parent I hope to be, one that develops a community of support that can help my children develop into who God has created them to be.
In some ways, Citizen Schools attempts to do this for a population that may not have access to good role models or certain types of skills or information. They help create a network for teens that opens up the possibilities of life to them and calls them to be apprentices in a variety of fields. This type of encouragement can make the difference in the life direction of a teen. It did for me.
One thing I truly appreciate about my parents is that they tried to find trustworthy adults for us to be around, learn from and go to when we were teenagers. They found great coaches for my brother to encourage his athletic interests and they found good teachers and friends to encourage my writing and faith interests. Instead of feeling that they must be solely responsible for our upbrining, they shared us with others who were able to encourage our passions and help us to grow. This is the type of parent I hope to be, one that develops a community of support that can help my children develop into who God has created them to be.
In some ways, Citizen Schools attempts to do this for a population that may not have access to good role models or certain types of skills or information. They help create a network for teens that opens up the possibilities of life to them and calls them to be apprentices in a variety of fields. This type of encouragement can make the difference in the life direction of a teen. It did for me.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Homeschool Resources
As I look through the web I sometimes happen upon items that I might eventually use if we decide to homeschool. Today I found a VERY cool resource for teaching handwriting. Basically you can type out what you want your child to practice writing, print the page and then they trace what you have written. How cool is that! It's free too. So here is the link.
The other cool thing that they have are tons of different "write on" shapes (shamrocks, hearts, bears, etc.) that have lines on them so that you can write whatever you want to on them. You can make a book, a sign, a note, whatever. It just seems like another fun way to celebrate a holiday or decorate and encourage your child to write.
I am also a big fan of graphic organizers. These are basically pictures, graphs, mind maps, etc. that help you organize thoughts in ways that aren't just text. There are lots of websites that have graphic organizers, but this one is one of the best that I've seen. Again, they are free and a great way to help kids think through ideas, characters, stories, etc.
So these are some resources that I might use in the future. We'll see. Maybe some of you can use them now.
PS - Sometimes with the graphic organizers it will get to a point where it asks you to join. You can open quite a few before you get to that point though. Sorry I didn't realize this when I orignally posted. It also seems that some sheets have this request to join linked to them and others don't. Thanks for pointing this out Ski!
The other cool thing that they have are tons of different "write on" shapes (shamrocks, hearts, bears, etc.) that have lines on them so that you can write whatever you want to on them. You can make a book, a sign, a note, whatever. It just seems like another fun way to celebrate a holiday or decorate and encourage your child to write.
I am also a big fan of graphic organizers. These are basically pictures, graphs, mind maps, etc. that help you organize thoughts in ways that aren't just text. There are lots of websites that have graphic organizers, but this one is one of the best that I've seen. Again, they are free and a great way to help kids think through ideas, characters, stories, etc.
So these are some resources that I might use in the future. We'll see. Maybe some of you can use them now.
PS - Sometimes with the graphic organizers it will get to a point where it asks you to join. You can open quite a few before you get to that point though. Sorry I didn't realize this when I orignally posted. It also seems that some sheets have this request to join linked to them and others don't. Thanks for pointing this out Ski!
The good in education!
Well after spending this week reading about how we shortchange our brightest students because of the dumbing down process in schools I was encouraged to find a little ray of hope. I am now on many random newsletter lists and one of them is for the Foundation Center job postings (to learn more about jobs I will never have). One of these postings was for a Talent Developer for Citizen Schools. (If you want to know how to run an after school program right watch their slide show at the bottom of their volunteer page). I had never heard of this program but it sounded intriguing. WOW! Have they got their act together. This is an incredible program for middle school students that engages college students, adult professionals and the community in providing structured and meaningful opportunities for youth. They really know their stuff. Unfortunately they are only in Houston and Austin right now - but maybe they will expand to San Antonio. We need them.
Recently I have been going to the local library in the late afternoon. This particular library is right next to a middle school and serves as the afternoon hang out spot. Almost every time I've been there at least 20 to 30 kids are hanging out. The non profit I volunteer with actually offers an afterschool program for kids from this middle school but it can only accept so many students. So, each time I go I am struck by what a great opportunity there is to build something for and with these kids. However, I am not really in a position to do that right now.
So if you have a Citizen School in your area I encourage you to get involved, share your skills and time and make a difference in the life of a middle school student. They need adults that give them a future orientation and the skills to get there. Citizen Schools is very strategic in their development and have chosen to start with states that impact educational decisions the most - Texas, California, Massachusetts, New Jersey and North Carolina. I have not seen them in action, but their theory and business model is on target so I imagine they produce a good product. I will stop gushing - it's just exciting when you see something that actually can make a difference.
Recently I have been going to the local library in the late afternoon. This particular library is right next to a middle school and serves as the afternoon hang out spot. Almost every time I've been there at least 20 to 30 kids are hanging out. The non profit I volunteer with actually offers an afterschool program for kids from this middle school but it can only accept so many students. So, each time I go I am struck by what a great opportunity there is to build something for and with these kids. However, I am not really in a position to do that right now.
So if you have a Citizen School in your area I encourage you to get involved, share your skills and time and make a difference in the life of a middle school student. They need adults that give them a future orientation and the skills to get there. Citizen Schools is very strategic in their development and have chosen to start with states that impact educational decisions the most - Texas, California, Massachusetts, New Jersey and North Carolina. I have not seen them in action, but their theory and business model is on target so I imagine they produce a good product. I will stop gushing - it's just exciting when you see something that actually can make a difference.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
In praise of cloth diapers
We have been using cloth diapers for a few weeks now. My mom and aunt made them and they are a hybrid version. The diaper "inner" is made of flannel and then it has a pocket where you stick in whatever you want to absorb all the stuff. I typically use microfiber covered with flannel. This diaper then goes in either a wool cover (knitted by my aunt) or a polarfleece cover. At night I typically use the polarfleece diaper.
This morning as I went to get my son (after he had been awake for close the 2 1/2 hours over the course of the night) I was greeted by a big smile and the smell of poo. I was shocked when I opened the diaper and NOTHING had leaked out. It was by far one of the messiest diapers he has had so far. I know that the disposable diapers would never have stood up to this flood. I find it's much easier to wash the diapers which are supposed to be messy instead of the clothes, the sheets, etc. Yeah for cloth diapers!
I did put him back in bed soon after eating this morning (he looked tired and I was tired). He whined - but no real crying. I remembered what the Healthy Sleep Habits book said and I decided not to go in there for an hour. There was a story in there about a lady who waited 59 minutes and right at that time her son fell asleep. Well that was us this morning. Had I gone in one minute early he wouldn't have been asleep yet. He is persistent. So I imagine his trouble last night was his tummy - we kind of knew he had been "saving up". Hopefully he will sleep well today now that some of his digestive troubles have passed. I actually need to rest while I can too.
This morning as I went to get my son (after he had been awake for close the 2 1/2 hours over the course of the night) I was greeted by a big smile and the smell of poo. I was shocked when I opened the diaper and NOTHING had leaked out. It was by far one of the messiest diapers he has had so far. I know that the disposable diapers would never have stood up to this flood. I find it's much easier to wash the diapers which are supposed to be messy instead of the clothes, the sheets, etc. Yeah for cloth diapers!
I did put him back in bed soon after eating this morning (he looked tired and I was tired). He whined - but no real crying. I remembered what the Healthy Sleep Habits book said and I decided not to go in there for an hour. There was a story in there about a lady who waited 59 minutes and right at that time her son fell asleep. Well that was us this morning. Had I gone in one minute early he wouldn't have been asleep yet. He is persistent. So I imagine his trouble last night was his tummy - we kind of knew he had been "saving up". Hopefully he will sleep well today now that some of his digestive troubles have passed. I actually need to rest while I can too.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Gifted and Talented??
Yesterday I was reading more about becoming a licensed montessori teacher. It is a pretty intensive process that some day I hope to go through. As I was looking around I ran into the Davidson Institute for Talent Development. This program is for profoundly gifted students - but they have advocacy for all gifted students. Since we have moved into a new school district I decided to look up the types of programs they have for gifted students. Lets just say the word "underwhelmed" doesn't quite describe it.
Apparently SAISD in its wisdom is interested in implementing the AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) program for their gifted and talented program. As their literature from 2003 for gifted and talented parents says their strategies and initiatives are to "Establish G/T campus site teams based on the AVID model" and in the elementary school "Initiate implementation of AVID strategies for G/T and talent pool students". Now in theory this sounds great. But when you read about the intention of the AVID program you realize that this does not make ANY senese. The AVID website explains the program this way: AVID targets students in the academic middle — B, C, and even D students — who have the desire to go to college and the willingness to work hard. Basically, it seems that the district has decided to use a college prep program to cover its bases on gifted and talented education. This really doesn't address the needs of the gifted student - the basic strategy of this program seems to put kids in the most difficult classes available (pre-AP and AP classes). I have to say that overall I am glad that SAISD is interested in this type of programming but it is NOT gifted and talented education. The AVID website clearly explains their goals and it is not to reach gifted and talented students! Additionally, it talks about adopting this as an elementary school strategy when the program is specifically designed for 4th through 12th grade students. Well, that doesn't cover most of the elementary grades.
So once again I am left to wonder about our education system. Yet more reason to continue my education so that I can educate my children. I am currently reading the book Genius Denied by the founders of the Davidson institute. I just got it from the trusty library yesterday and haven't gotten very far (I searched out the SAISD policies instead). We'll see what it has to say.
Apparently SAISD in its wisdom is interested in implementing the AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) program for their gifted and talented program. As their literature from 2003 for gifted and talented parents says their strategies and initiatives are to "Establish G/T campus site teams based on the AVID model" and in the elementary school "Initiate implementation of AVID strategies for G/T and talent pool students". Now in theory this sounds great. But when you read about the intention of the AVID program you realize that this does not make ANY senese. The AVID website explains the program this way: AVID targets students in the academic middle — B, C, and even D students — who have the desire to go to college and the willingness to work hard. Basically, it seems that the district has decided to use a college prep program to cover its bases on gifted and talented education. This really doesn't address the needs of the gifted student - the basic strategy of this program seems to put kids in the most difficult classes available (pre-AP and AP classes). I have to say that overall I am glad that SAISD is interested in this type of programming but it is NOT gifted and talented education. The AVID website clearly explains their goals and it is not to reach gifted and talented students! Additionally, it talks about adopting this as an elementary school strategy when the program is specifically designed for 4th through 12th grade students. Well, that doesn't cover most of the elementary grades.
So once again I am left to wonder about our education system. Yet more reason to continue my education so that I can educate my children. I am currently reading the book Genius Denied by the founders of the Davidson institute. I just got it from the trusty library yesterday and haven't gotten very far (I searched out the SAISD policies instead). We'll see what it has to say.
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