Hurry up and wait

This is a phrase I would use often with my boarding students. It seemed that I was forever trying to get all of us somewhere on time and once we got there (the doctor's office, the school, etc.) we had to wait. This pattern of life can wear you out. It can also become addictive - the rush of trying to get everything done and then the let down of the other party not being ready or lacking the same urgency that you have. It is hard to break out of the "hurry up" lifestyle. I really thought that I had broken some of this pattern this summer - but maybe not.

I have to say that I spent some of my pregnancy like this. I wanted it to hurry up so that I could have a little one in arms. Now that he is here I realize that most of our life right now is just waiting. Waiting for him to be hungry, to finish feeding, to wake up from his nap, etc. I am forced to wait and be still more than ever before (breastfeeding will do that to you). This is hard for me - I am good at the "hurry up" but God has been trying for a long time to teach me the waiting part. For my sanity and the health of our son I need to learn to enjoy the waiting part. I need to trust that there is a reason for the stillness and the waiting. At this point it is so that I can heal and he can grow. It's difficult when there is very little that I can do to help the waiting "go faster". God really doesn't need me to be hurrying all the time - in fact he often talks about being still and trusting in him - very rarely was Jesus in a hurry (even when people's lives were on the line). So hopefully, this is one of the first good lessons I'll learn from my son. I am still not very good at it - but I am realizing that it's not just about my learning anymore - it now effects him too. So I am trying to enjoy the waiting and the trust in the one who calls me to wait and be still. There will be future days of "hurry up" so for now I am trying to enjoy the waiting.