This article caught my attention because it discusses one of my pet peeves - helicopter parents. I am not sure where this term originated but I know that it is used in Love and Logic to personify parents who are constantly hovering around their children. This article nicely describes the end result of such constant over parenting - feeble kids and lost parents. It is our responsibility to help raise children who are able to stand on their own two feet - not have to hide in our skirts forever. I wish I could say that this article is an overstatement - but it's not. My friend who works in residential life at a local university said that the number of PARENT calls about their COLLEGE AGED child's roommate problems has increased. Why are parents calling the college to complain about little Johnny's roommate - I don't know?
Everyone loses in the path of a helicopter parent. The problem is that the short term results seem so positive. The problems is solved. Little Jane doesn't cry. Your child seems so well put together. However, you propping them up throughout their childhood ensures they never learn a lesson on their own. This is not a good way to be sent into the world. So try to stop whirring around your child and let them fall down, make a mistake and learn a real lesson. I know I'm preaching to the choir here - but like I said, it's a pet peeve.
4 comments:
It is important to find the balance between being nurturing and allowing children to learn from their own mistakes. As children grow older, they need more and more opportunities to solve their own problems. Ideally parents serve as loving mentors helping to guide their children in becoming competent decision makers. However, it can be scary for parents to let go and allow their children to make their own decisions so some fall into helicoptering to try to ensure their children's success.
I have several "helicopter parents" this year. They are driving me crazy. I told one of these parents that one of my goals for her son was to become an independant worker (so I don't have to stand next to him for him to complete his work) and her response, right in front of her son was, "he'll never be an independant worker." I was floored, my thought was that I want my daughters to work towards being independant. I don't want them dependant on me for eveything their whole life. That's not to say I don't want them to know that they can come to me or my husband at any time with a problem or just to talk but we want them to be able to work on their own and make descions on their own.
I LOVE the Love and Logic book! We are reading the one for preschoolers now--I have read the main book already but the preschoolers one fits where we are right now.
Well said!
From one of your links ... "The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord." ... Hmmmmmmmm ...
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