Children and Church

I have many thoughts about children and famiy in church. "Common wisdom" in mainline churches is that kids leave the church after high school and return to get married (for a while) but really come back to church when they are parents. As parents they realize that they want their children baptized and brought up with some type of values. Although I think this is faulty logic - it does play out in many people's lives.

Today I was struck by how opposite the feeling is for people who were serving and living in a church community during their twenties. Once they become parents it is much more difficult to remain connected and involved with the community as a whole. Although I have yet to experience it - I have seen it in other parents. They struggle to get everyone there and then in most churches you are broken up by age groups - so you really aren't "in church" as a family. If you are a part of any group one parent watches the kids while the other participates as "an adult". Sometimes there is child care - but in smaller churches this is really difficult. If there are Sunday night events it can be difficult to attend because it throws off bedtimes and makes it hard to get ready for the upcoming week. Actually, any type of night time activity can become a struggle as you weigh your child's routine with your fellowship and participation.

I have had high minded philosophies about intergenerational home, cell, heart group types of exepriences - but I am not so sure how that would really work. I am also reminded that church isn't really about the building where you go on Sunday's, but more about the community that you are a part of and that can take many different forms. As my husband and I enter into parenthood I hope that we can creatively fulfill the needs of our family and live in the body of Christ. Having young children is a season, of course, but it is a season that can greatly impact family values and growth.

Then there is the question about ministry to your family and balancing that with other ministry within the church and beyond its walls . . . but that's another issue for another day.