Emotional Melt Downs

Well many of my friends have children that are turning growing up and trying to handle overwhelming emotions.

Recently I read Happiest Toddler on the Block which discusses dealing with children from about 12 months or so until they are about 4. He encourages parents to repeat what your upset toddler is telling you - with words and actions. He recommends using short phrases, repetition, emphasis and gesturing. Empathizing with your little one helps him realize that you hear him and allows him to calm down enough to hear what you have to say. (Obviously in dangerous situations you do NOT use this method). If you've ever been to a counselor or learned anything about counseling they constantly talk about repeating what you are hearing from the person you are talking to - Karp is applying this to little ones. The thing that strikes me about Karp's method is that he emphasizes body language and encourages parents to furrow their brows, beat the door, or do other more dramatic things to help express emotion. This makes sense because your 18 month old can't understand all the words you are using - but your body language can communicate a lot. He does admit that a lot of parents feel like fools acting this way - but when it works it's hard to argue with the approach. That's just part of the book - it's very interesting.

The other book or program that I've been looking at for preschool aged kiddos is the I Can Problem Solve approach. This method has been taught in classrooms and homes with long lasting effects for kids. Basically it teaches a series of phrases to help kids express their thoughts and think through situations. It seems really simple - but I think that's what makes it effective. I actually got Myrna Shure's book at the library and I think it's something that you can incorporate into your everyday life. When my little one is older I think I will be trying to incorporate this approach into our family life.

So these are just two options that might be worth checking out from your local library.