Banging your head against the wall . . .

or the chest, the chair or the mirror. Now that our son has decided that rolling is a pretty fun activity he has a tendency to roll to a corner or big piece of furniture and get stuck. I haven't really noticed if he rolls only to one side - but he'll get right up next to something and keep trying to roll into it. Sorry, but the TV cabinet is not going to move! As I watched him get really frustrated (he especially is confused when he rolls into the mirror - as you can imagine) I realized that I do a similar thing. I will "roll" myself into a corner and then start complaining when I have to go a different direction than I expected. When a wall is put up or my path is blocked - it's much more fun to just whine then go another way.

My son isn't shy in asking for help when he gets into these situations - he lets you know when he's stuck pretty much immediately. Most of the time I come and help him out (I am still trying to figure out the balance between letting him learn and me helping him). I am not so wise. Sometimes I just sit there banging my head like it's a fun activity. When I do start to whine - I normally choose people who can do nothing about it - instead of asking the One who can really set me on a better course. So hopefully my son will learn that some pieces of furniture will not give way to his will and maybe his mom will learn that sometimes life doesn't just give way either. On occasion, we are the ones who have to change - who have to stop, turn around and find another way.

Preschool Pandamonium

Yesterday I heard two different stories of mom's trying to get their children into preschool for the fall. Yes, registration is in February for fall classes. One family was successful because they started standing in line THE NIGHT BEFORE to make sure their child was registered. The other family thought it safe to be there two hours before registration began (at 6 am). At 6:30 am the school rolled out the breakfast bar for those who were waiting in line. This friend was not so fortunate - they are number 11 on a waiting list for a class of 12 children!

I did not expect preschool pressure and pandamonium among my friends. My friends aren't looking for the academic prestige, they want some place safe and child friendly to help expand their children's experiences. However, it doesn't seem that the true preschool exists much anymore, at least not here. Most "schools" are full day (6:30 am - 6:30 pm) and intended for parents who work. These types of centers are crucial but they are ignoring the growing market of college degreed stay at home moms who want their children to attend preschool a few days a week at an affordable price. Often these moms (or dads) have made financial sacrifices to be at home so they can't pay a whole lot for preschool. At the same time they understand the value of social and enriching experiences for their 3, 4 and 5 year olds. There are very few schools that will allow a child to come to "school" 2 or 3 days a week for a half day. However, this is something that lots of families want for their children (this is something I want for my little one).

The rest of my thoughts aren't really clear on this issue. I am wading through what my response should be (since I've always wanted to run a preschool). I can't tell if this is the right time to start pursuing it again (I've been trying to return to school in this area since 2001- I have 21 hours that add up to nothing!). So, I'm thinking about it, looking into it and praying about it. We'll see what happens next.

Good Start

Well we decided that today was a good day to start solid foods. I decided to use breastmilk instead of water to make it more "normal" for him. In fact, after reading the directions (about a bazillion times) I decided to use half as much cereal as they say to use - in case he didn't like it. Well then I added too much milk to it. So basically I was feeding him breastmilk with a little bit of cereal on a spoon.

I have to say that he did like it. I did use his high chair because he can sit up in it pretty well. Unfortunately I do not have any "before" pictures because, of course, the camera's batteries were dead. Plus I am not sure how I could have documented the event and fed him at the same time. Maybe when dad is home he can help document a feeding. He opened his mouth well and barely spit anything out. A few times he actually helped me guide the spoon too his mouth. At one point he comandeered the spoon and decided to try it out for himself. Well, he stuck it in a little too far and started gagging a little bit. He promptly returned the spoon to me. Overall I think it went very well.

I am trying to follow the advice given in Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. Almost everyone I know uses this book as their guide. Soon I will be making sweet potato and avocado squares for him. But you have to wait at least four days before you introduce a new food. So, maybe we'll start those items next week.

After the snack I tried to give him some more water from his sippy cup. I don't know how much he actually drank - but he did try to use it properly (for the most part). When he finally acted like he was done I took him out of his seat and he was very happy. He acted like he ate from a spoon everyday. I am really glad that he liked it so much (so far) because I was afraid he would reject the spoon like he rejects just about everything else that actually has some value when you suck on it.

Don't Fence Me In

Well our little boy is growing up (sniff, sniff). This week he really started rolling over. In fact one morning he found the phone charger cord (we have now corrected that situation) and dad's shoes all at the same time. Today he rolled under a table and looked very confused. He can also stay sitting up for a while by himself (if you prop him up to start with). As a result of all this movement we decided it was time to up our babyproofing efforts (as I notice the remote control in easy grabbing distance on the floor). So we bought a fence - to fence us in. Basically instead of trying to really clean up our computer area we decided to fence ourselves in. We have already resigned ourselves to the fact that one of us will do a faceplant at some point when we try to step over the baby fence. The little one has noticed it and isn't quite sure what to make of it. So far he just rolls the other way and kind of looks at us strangely.

On another front today we tried AGAIN to see if he would take water from a sippy cup. As my husband says the only things he won't suck on are a bottle, sippy cup and pacifier. Well today he did actually drink a little water - although he seemed very confused and there was some sputtering involved. Drinking water is really in preparation for the introduction of SOLID FOODS. Our little one is actually pretty big (he is five and half months and about 18 pounds) and he is getting hungry more frequently (in part because of all his rolling around) so the time has come to introduce him to rice cereal. If I am up to it- this might happen as early as tomorrow. Of course I missed church today because he sort of threw up this morning so maybe we should wait a little longer. He was fine the rest of the day and we both had a nice morning nap as a result. Actually he slept a lot today - this is the first day we haven't been out somewhere in about a week - I think. So we took a Sabbath rest and it was very good.

Laying down your life

Today is Ash Wednesday for those of you that are part of a liturgical church it marks the beginning of Lent - the season where you typically give something up. My little one and I went to Ash Wednesday services at our Lutheran church (as our Pastor said this is the first year we've celebrated Ash Wednesday in the 5 years our church has been in existence). We had special guests tonight "Captive Free" a traveling youth band that shares alternative worship and God's word with Lutheran congregations throughout the US. The sermon was given by one of the members and it was good. He made the point that spending six weeks focusing on our sin was probably not as enlightening as spending that time looking towards the cross and who Jesus is in the midst of us. As he says it only takes about six seconds for us to realize that this world falls short - that's not a news flash - what we need is a savior who helps us when we do fall short.

The real sermon came before we even left our driveway though. As we were leaving a dad and his daughter were walking across the street from us. When I pulled out of the driveway I noticed that the dad's head was shaved - not too odd - although he seemed fairly young. But then I looked over and noticed that the girl, who looked to be about nine, also had a bald head. Her dad was carrying her pink hat. Now that's a dad who is being asked to really lay down all he has - his bald head is just the beginning of what he is putting on the line for his little girl. His bald head is a testament that he is in it with her ALL THE WAY. That little girl is blessed to have a dad who lays it down for his little girl. I am so thankful that we have a heavenly Father who does the same for us - not just in word, but in deed. This Lent I pray that we draw nearer to the one who laid it all down for us. May we accept His challenge to take up His cross and walk in His ways. Not just as a matter of obedience (which it is) but as a an act of deep love because he first loved us. I hope that if we choose to give something up this Lent that it will be an outward experssion of something much deeper like that Dad's bald head.

Viewer Discretion??

I was watching PBS today and they gave the viewer discretion warning for an upcoming program. I started laughing when the next thing they played was an "ad" for a church here in town. You know PBS is off their liberal rocker when it appears that they are putting up warnings for faith messages. As it turns out the program is actually about the Marines (which I am proud to say that I have a cousin and a cousin's husband who are Marines serving in Iraq right now) - so maybe there is some material that will be objectionable. The juxtsposition of a church and viewer discretion just got me good though.

You know you have a boy when . . .

you are running the bath water and suddenly feel a warm spray coming from a totally different direction. There was a little shout of surprise, a wet outfit and a big smile - no need to freak the boy out when he can't do any better. I guess maybe running water before a bath will help him when we decide to potty train - we'll see.

Regaining Trust

Well last night was a long night. We are very fortunate that typically our little one is a good sleeper. In fact for about a month he slept the whole night through - no questions asked. I was getting spoiled! Last night that was not the case. He woke up a little before 3 am. I went in to check his diaper and help him calm down. I am trying to follow the advice of all the books - don't stimulate him at night, don't feed him immediately, allow him to put himself back to sleep, etc. Then it was 4 am and I figured he was coming close to going back to sleep. Sometimes he'll stay awake for about an hour at night - just fussing a little. Then it was 4:30 and still he wasn't calming down - in fact he was getting more upset. So I sent his dad in. Finally at about 5 am in desperation I pulled out a book and read it without my glasses on. It advised that if your little one gets up at random times at night (which he does) then maybe he is hungry and going through a growth spurt. So, I decided to feed him. He was RAVENOUS - poor boy. I was hoping this would mean he would sleep in - but no. He woke up at about 6:45 and was still somewhat hungry. He did take a short morning nap - which was helpful.
So the rest of the day I've been tired and felt badly for not feeding the poor boy. He is hungry a little before he normally eats and is eating a lot. So I think he might be growing again (he is already above the 95th percentile in height and weight). Today I have tried to spend extra time cuddling him and I am staying with him until he goes to sleep. We had gotten to a place where I could leave him in his crib and he would go to sleep. Well, I think that last night kind of ruined that for a while. All my friends say once you feel like you have a sleeping pattern they change. I am finding that to be true. Now it's about regaining his trust so that he will go to sleep more easily - again.
The moral of the story is to listen to your kiddo - through all those screams they are probably trying to tell you something!

So many choices . . .

As our little one gets closer to eating solid foods I am thinking more about using the table. Before he was born my husband and I were doing much better at sitting at the dinner table and turning off the TV for the whole 15 minutes that we ate dinner. We have stopped doing that - we probably need to try that discipline again. As I read more about using Montessori methods in the home they focus on feeding a lot - it's obviously an important life skill. They actually suggest not using a highchair at all. They encourage feeding on your lap until the child can sit up well enough in a "weaning" chair. I have yet to actually see this "weaning chair" in action. From what I can gather it is a little wooden chair that they can sit up in at a table that is their size. Another Montessori mom recommended using the bumbo chair to feed in (my niece looks VERY cute in her chair) until they get old enough for a chair without "restraint".

I have a very nice highchair and we will use it. I guess I'm beginning to think more about the toddler stage. I have watched many a toddler deftly manuever in and out of "big" people chairs. At times I have been very frightened for their safety as they come close to banging into the table or the floor. There are some chairs that are designed to help alleviate this problem and they look like good furniture but I am not convinced that they are worth the price. They are totally adjustable from infant up to adulthood - so they really could last a long time. They don't look that comfortable but for more money you can get a chair cushion. There are two kinds - the Stokke Tripp Trapp on the left. The other choice is the Svan highchair. They are intended to help your child be able to get in and out of the chair easily by himself. They also pull up easily to the table. Another feature is the foot rest - so the child feels more comfortable and secure. Another interesting entry is the Combi transition chair (below). I have a Combi stroller and love it. One of my friends was here yesterday and picked up the stroller. His comment was that it doesn't give you enough of a work out because it is so light. Anyway, this is an interesting idea.

So, those of you with older children out there - what do you think?? Do these contraptions make sense? Are they worth the investment?

The enneagram again

Last night at women's group we started talking about the enneagram again. This is a personality typology that has multiple layers and is VERY insightful. The enneagram identifies nine different types. The greatest thing about the enneagram is that it recognizes that we are all on a journey and it makes room for a person to grow (or to shrink back). Actually, the whole point is to grow and become less like your typical self and more like a healthy you (is that too much psychobabble?). Yesterday, my friends recommended an enneagram site I hadn't seen before. I like this site because it tells you the basics of how to get along with different types of people, what they value and even what they might have been like as children. Reading my type and my husbands type was helpful. If I start feeling to overwhelmed or the need to control - I now recognize that I need to resist that and trust that God is in control and not everything needs to be perfect. Likewise, as I read over my husbands it reminded me again how important it is for him to have his space and think about things. His type is typically introverted - so the big party we had this weekend was fun - but also taxing - on him. It is a stretch for him to engage in the parties that I love.

So, once again I recommend that you consider how you have been created and how to submit and use who you are to God's glory. There is no one "right" type - the point is that we are all uniquely created and should enjoy the diversity God has given us.

A good time was had by all

Last night we held our 5th annual Super Bowl party (even though we've only had three actual parties - it's a point of dispute in our house). I think I watched about 5 minutes of the game. To be quite honest I don't even know who won. The party was a little dark because a quirk of our house is that when you turn the kitchen lights on channels 4 and 5 on the TV go fuzzy. Well the Superbowl was on channel 5 so we didn't have the lights on in the kitchen (which are pretty much the main lights in the house). When we moved a lamp into the kitchen to alleviate the darkness one of the little guys kept trying to get at the now empty plug - we found a cover pretty quickly.

At the height of the party we had nine children ages three and under and about 16 or 17 adults. Our youngest attendee was a little over a week old! Brave parents. This year the party ended right after the game - last year we stayed until the wee hours solving all the world's problems. Kids make it harder to do that. Thank you to all who attended we enjoyed your fellowship. Compliments to the chef - he used my husbands new grill. To those who missed out - maybe next year.

Opposites Attract

I read almost only non fiction, my husband reads just about anything. I am a doer, my husband is a thinker. I am an extrovert, my husband is an introvert. People were shocked when we started dating - but somehow we fit together well. I want to discuss this last pair of ideas. Here is a quick look at the difference (as found in the Myers Briggs test):

Extroverts vs. Introverts (EI)

First two mutually exclusive patterns tell where you prefer to get energized. If you are stimulated by the environment, you are an Extrovert (E). This personality type likes to be more social, expressive and outward.

However, if you are stimulated by your inner imaginations, thoughts and ideas, you will be classified as an introvert (I). This psychological type prefers solitude, quietness and concentration over gatherings.

As I was looking for a link for Neal Stephenson (the last post) I found a page that he wrote and encouraged all of us extroverts to read an Atlantic Monthly article "Caring for your Introvert". My husband has tried to encourage me to study this in the past. He kindly got me the book The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child. He was trying to prepare me for the fact that our child could be an introvert. I have to say, I did not read the whole book, but what I did read was very interesting. Basically, introverts need time to think through things, sleep on it, etc. Their brain patterns are literally different than an extroverts! So, I am learning to give my hubby some room to think - maybe if I read the whole book I would have more insight into his world.

So, I want to pay tribute to those who are introverts. I am an extrovert and I don't totally understand the introverts in my life - but I am trying to learn. As one of my friends says - people are like sugar to me - they give me energy. I do appreciate that my husband tries to support my extroversion and will go along and be social with me. However, I will try to consider how to better care for my introvert.

If you can't beat 'em . . .

This past week my husband has been sick. So, I have let him do what he wants - which is nothing - but sit around and watch movies and listen to the latest Modern Scholars tapes he checked out. This time he has "From Here to Infinity: An Exploration of Science Fiction Literature" by Michael D.C. Drout of Wheaton College. This same professor did the fantasy overview that he listened to a few months ago. Anyway, since it is playing in my living room it is difficult to ignore. I have to admit that I actually enjoyed it!

I had no idea that science fiction dealt with so many social issues and philosophical questions. This tape series really looks at the questions posed by science fiction. I think that we might be missing the boat by dismissing fantasy and science fiction literature. So, I am not totally converted but there are some books that I might try reading. (My husband had me type out the whole bibliography so that he can read them all!) So I encourage you to consider reading some science fiction. Try some Octavia Butler or Neal Stephenson. Granted, I haven't read these yet - but he highly recommends them.

So if you can't beat 'em - join 'em. I'm not D&D geeky yet. I'm not sure I will ever be - but I'm getting closer!

Thinking Hats

Recently I have returned to learning about facilitation. I seem to end up doing a lot of facilitation (including an upcoming meeting at church). I was realizing that out of the 4 jobs I've had - only one was just for one organizaiton. Every other job I've had I was working for at least 2 entities and sometimes up to 3 or 4 at a time. I am not sure why this is - maybe it comes back to me being the connector. I actually enjoy the challenge - but not the politics. Most of the time the organizations didn't have a great relationship with each other - I was the link.

Anyway, I have been researching different ways to help facilitate groups and I came upon Edward De Bono's six hat theory. It's actually a great way to analyze a problem from a variety of perspectives. I actually found this idea through Brandy Agerbeck who does graphic facilitation. (the chart on that page is very cool - if you make it bigger and roll over it you can see all the different ways to help facilitate a group - AWESOME!) I enjoyed looking through all of her work. I was even inspired by the graphic facilitation website to learn more about drawing and came upon Ed Emberly's drawing books (thanks to the library I checked out 4 or 5). Last night as I watched I Love Huckabees (a VERY bad movie) I practiced drawing like Ed. Hey, I can draw - who knew?

Back to the point - six hats. So, I think this is even a good way to help children look at problem solving (I did find a kids graphic but it wasn't all that impressive). I just thought I would offer this up. I have found a lot of other cool things but we'll save some for another time. I know this seems sort of disconnected - but this is how my mind wanders . . . I mean works.