A's "tipping point"

Well today my little one did it. He got himself past the tipping point and rolled over from his back to his front. I was encouraging him to get his bear and he was working really hard to get near it. He was getting onto his side and tucking his arm in (this is a new step). But at that point he would lose his balance and tip back over on to his back. At one point I congratulated him with a kiss for getting so close. He promptly spit up and tooted at almost the exact same time. Anyway, I decided to see if it was easier for him to try it on the other side. He proceeded to roll over - he barely even stopped at his normal tipping point. This is not a mistake (like last time might have been) - this was a plan of attack that worked. I tried to see if he'd do it again - but he wasn't too interested. He also got frustrated once he was on his tummy - I'm not sure he wants to let go and "fall" over again.

In another news, today is the first day for him to really try his cloth diapers. I finally got it together enough to make the inserts for the diapers my mom had made. So far they seem to be working really well. We haven't had any messy diapers yet - just wet ones. So we'll see how that goes. Right now we are just wearing them at home. Once we have more and I feel more comfortable we might wear them out and about.

So that's the news from here. I was beginning to wonder if he would just scooch in circles his whole life.

Like Paul Revere

First off, did you know that more than just Paul Revere rode that fateful night. I didn't (my dad can quote the whole poem if you ask him). Apparently, we remember Paul Revere in particular because he knew everyone and people trusted what he had to say. The other riders were not as connected as good ol' Paul was. A while back my husband read "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. After reading it he told me that I was a Connector - apparently this is a person who seems to know everyone. Paul Revere was also a connector. Who knew?

Anyway, I was thinking about this recently - people used to say that instead of 6 degrees of separation I have about 3. Actually, I am one degree away from Kevin Bacon (one of my cousins babysat for him once). I'm also one degree away from Chelsea Clinton because my brother was friends with her in college. I have yet to figure out how to leverage my connection ability. Currently, it's just fun to connect with others and celebrate life with a wide variety of people.

If you are interested Malcolm Gladwell has a "connector" quiz on his website. It's pretty fun. I didn't do as well as I expected to. Part of my problem was that I kept on thinking of authors I read, not people I know. It really wasn't fair either because I know a lot of Liu's and Lin's from my old job. I would have hit the jackpot if Kim was on the list (I think I had 8 students with the last name Kim at one point). If it was Jacobson instead of Jacobs I would also have a longer list. Anyway, take a gander at the list and let us know how you do. I did it pretty quickly and I scored in the low 30's.

Knowledge is Power con'td

Yesterday I pursued knowledge and learned about alternative methods of organizing school curriculum. It was interesting, but it didn't get at what I was looking for. I was reminded that knowledge isn't really power it's just raw data. The power comes when we choose what to do with the knowledge that we have. This is the scary part about education without a moral basis - it doesn't provide guidelines for using the knowledge you've gained. Even with a moral basis there is always a chance knowledge will be used inappropriately (that pesky free will). If we are telling our kids (or ourselves) to seek knowledge we are barking up the wrong tree - knowledge shouldn't be an end in and of itself (although we talk about it like it is). I love Jeopardy - but life isn't about answering trivia questions.

We need to encourage our kids (and ourselves) towards what the Bible values - wisdom and understanding. Proverbs 2 reads:

1 My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,
3 and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

Yesterday, was pretty fruitless, but today I went to church and one of the two slides read "seek power/understanding". Wow, that's what I've been thinking about. The pastor then directed us to Acts where it says, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you". The power doesn't come by learning a lot, thinking a lot or reading a lot - it comes by asking and receiving from God. He clearly says in James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." One of the primary names of the Holy Spirit is our counselor. I am surprised at how often power and the Holy Spirit go together. I think the lesson is that we aren't really fit to have power on our own - we need to be dependent on God and His Spirit and allow His power to work through us. Now that's REAL power.

So I guess the mantra should be "God's wisdom and Holy Spirit is power". This is not the economy that the world trades in - but it should be what a renewed Christian mind seeks after.

.

A different story

Well I read beyond page 119 of Organic Church and found this quote:

Ivan Illich was once asked, "What is the most revolutionary way to change society: Is it violent revolution or is it gradual reform?" He gave a careful answer: "Neither. If you want to change society, then you must tell an alternative story," he concluded.

The truth of God's Word will continue to be the truth but maybe we need to tell a story that focuses on his deep desire for relationship with us - so much so that He came to be with us when we had broken relationship with him through our sin. The alternate story might be the napkin theology below.

Resisting a rest

He continues to "AHHH" in his bedroom. It's not a cry - he's talking to himself and trying to keep himself awake. (Actually Dad just said "It sounds like he's saying Dad"). Our little one no longer cries to stay awake (normally)- which is nice, but he does talk to keep himself awake. He's been in there talking for close to 20 minutes now - he is resisting a rest. I wish I could say that he is the only one that does that. When you have a newborn they always say that mom should rest when baby rests - well I was horrible at that. I always found little tasks to keep me busy. At night, it's the same way. I will stay up to watch a Seinfeld episode I've already seen 4 times instead of go to sleep sometimes. I have also been known to stay up way to late searching for things on the Internet. Why do I resist a rest?

It's funny, God has a lot to say about rest. Actually, the fact that we can rest is a key feature of being God's children. One of the more often quoted verses says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28). Well, I hate to say it, but I resist that rest too. I do not bring my burdens to Him, instead I choose to carry them on my own. Even God rested after all of his good work. Keeping the Sabbath is a command (not a suggestion). I guess if I really trusted who God says He is, then I wouldn't resist rest so much. I think my son resists because he wants to continue to be in relationship with us (at least that's what the books say). I resist because I don't trust the relationship - I need to do it on my own, God can't provide so I better do it for myself. Well, that is not a very faithful life and in the end you rest - but not in peace, rather out of sheer exhaustion.

So, I am going to try to practice resting a little more. God is a good provider and He commands me to rest because he knows what's good for me. Just like our little one, as parents we need to protect and make sure he gets enough rest. Sometimes he will resist - but it's our job to help him learn that rest is good for him. He finally did fall asleep and he looks VERY peaceful and cute when he rests. I imagine God says the same about us.

Napkin Theology

I am now reading the book "Organic Church" by Neil Post. This is a great book that really talks about church at it's most basic level - sharing the Gospel of Christ. In it he talks about napkin theology - that typically really great ideas are simple and can be boiled down and presented on a napkin. A few years ago, the Billy Graham Crusade came to San Antonio. It was quite a production and I took my small team of teenagers to the training on how to lead people to Christ. The presentation is the one with the bridge - where we are on one side a perfect God is on the other and we are separated by our sin. Then Jesus is the bridge that helps connect us to God. While this is sound it is not quite as compelling as another version of the story. The version we are used to hearing is God created the earth, Adam and Eve sinned and were separated from God and then Jesus came to redeem us from our sins. This focuses on our fallen nature - which is very true. We have all fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 6:9 - this was a key verse at the Billy Graham crusade).
In reading "How People Grow" the authors make a clear distinction between the role of the law and the role of grace. Law is important because we need to know that we are sinners and we have fallen short. However, it is really grace - God's unmerited favor - that brings the sinner home (like the prodigal son). If we continue to focus on the sin we fail to see the savior. That is the sticking point that I have with the traditional Gospel presentation - it seems to focus on our sin and make us the center of the story. But this is God's grand drama - not ours!
I once heard a different presentation of the Gospel story that puts Christ in the center and focuses on his grace (it's your kindness Lord that leads us to repentance). Instead of Creation, The Fall, Redemption (which is actually the framework used in "How People Grow") in earlier times it was Creation, Incarnation, Recreation. WOW! What a difference this makes. The story is all about what God did and who God is. He created us, He came among us when we were lost (Emmanuel - God with Us) and he is recreating us (we are a new creation 2 Cor. 5:17). God is in control of this whole process and it isn't focused on us falling short - it is focused on his love and grace that calls us to be new in Him.
So how does this relate to the "Organic Church". Basically, the author says that the "simple idea - Jesus Christ coming to us in the flesh for our redemtption - embodies the entire DNA (of the true church)." (p. 119) So in our Gospel presentation of our horrible sins, we somehow miss sharing the wonderful news that God is with us. In focusing on the measure of how bad we are and what we've done wrong - we forget how much God loves us and what He's done right for us. It's his Amazing Grace that saves a wretch like me. Most sinners know they are sinners - that's not the issue. What they need is to hear that God came near to seek and save them - not because they are so horrible - but because he created them and will recreate them to be something glorious.

So the napkin theology - Creation, Incarnation, Recreation - it's all His doing.

I digress . . .

for a moment to provide a bit of background. At one point I was part of a small group in our church called "Mars Hill". This small group would listen to a tape produced by Mars Hill Audio about cultural and social issues and then we'd gather to discuss what we'd heard about every month or two. The discussions were lively and thought provoking and I was one of the few women that actually enjoyed this kind of banter. Anyway, time passed and the group has now moved on to other things. I do miss talking with others about these issues and thinking critically about them so I guess this blog, in some ways, fills some of that thoughtful void. At times I might reference ideas or thoughts that I learned or was challenged by in this group.

Another point I'd like to make is that I am a verbal processor. My mom used to listen to me forever as I would talk/think through ideas. So, in some ways, this blog also serves as a place to "verbally" process. I enjoy the feedback I've been receiving and hope to hear more of your thoughts and ideas. So, I wouldn't say that anything I write is my "final word" on a subject. More likely it's the thought of the moment that I'm developing.

On a totally different note my little one rolled over (front to back) for the first time this morning. I think we were both kind of surprised when he did it - there wasn't a lot of effort involved it just sort of happened. I think it was kind of an accident but we'll see.

Judgement vs. Evaluation

So I am continuing to think about the role of knowledge in our lives. I guess my problem is that normally I use my knowledge to be self sufficient and try to do things my own way. This part of a verse from Sara Groves Conversation album - The Word - sums it up pretty well:

I've done every devotional, been every place emotional
trying to hear a new word from God, and I think it's very odd
That while I attempt to help myself my bible sits upon the shelf
With every promise I could ever need

I am certainly not against thinking things through, challenging, questioning, wondering, etc. In fact, I am pretty frightened by those who don't seem to think and question. I guess my concern comes in when I start thinking that there isn't a standard or that I am my own standard (help me now!). I am now reading "How People Grow" by Cloud and Townsend. I am reading this with a group but we haven't met yet because of the ice storm. It's a fabulous book (like most of their work is).

What struck me last night was their distinction between playing the judge and being an evaluator. I have always wondered how we weren't supposed to judge, but yet we do have to be discriminating and thoughtful to some extent. Their definition makes sense and is Biblical.

When we judge we:
1. place ourselves above another as if we were his or her God
2. condemn another
3. create the standard for another.

So how is this different from evaluation. In evaluation we:
1. Identify with the other and realize that we are all messed up
2. do not condemn the person using guilt, shame, or wrath (see #1 about identifying with them)
3. do not make up the standard - we bow to God's standard and repent to Him

So, good evaluation involves humility, forgiveness and correction (pp. 53-54). Judgement obviously would mean the opposite pride, holding grudges and doing things our way.

Wowsers! The part that struck me was creating standards for another. I have lots of standards for myself and others that really aren't God's. It can really wear you out! This is something I think I will be working on in that small group I mentioned. Setting different standards isn't new though - if you think about it this habit started in Eden. God told Eve not to eat the fruit of the tree, when she talked with the serpent she added that they shouldn't touch the fruit either. Setting standards that aren't His. As the end of "The Word" by Sara Groves says:

I think it's time we rediscover all the ground that we have covered
Like 'seek ye first,' what a verse
We are pressed but not crushed, perplexed but don't despair
We are persecuted but never abandoned
We are no longer slaves, we are daughters and sons
And when we are weak, we are very strong
And neither death, nor life, nor present, nor future, nor depth, nor height
Can keep us from the love of Christ
And the Word I need is the word that was
He put on flesh to dwell with us
In the beginning The Word was, The Word is and The Word will be

In my church and personal life I think God is calling me into a refresher course about who He really is. I guess that means I have to give up making my own rules.

Knowledge is Power??

Well my most recent reading binge is about curriculum development and teaching thinking strategies (over the summer I read about homeschooling, teaching reading, community development, infant care and a few other random topics). Actually, when I go on a reading binge it is normally because I am looking for something and I am failing to go to God with it. It's a very discrete way of running from God. I can find nice ways to talk about it and it seems pretty innocent - but it's still sin!

God has convicted me more than once about our bibliophile house and my reading binges. The tree Adam and Eve were supposed to avoid was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Well, I think I try to eat from that tree a lot. In part because our culture feeds us that knowledge is the answer, it is power. I have seen kids do whole skits and sing songs about knowledge being power. The old equation was land=money=power, today it is more like knowledge=money= power, especially in this new century (one reading binge was about knowledge management - a very interesting concept). But, it's not power intended for us to consume and use as we please. In fact, the way I approach it and the way our culture uses it I think it might have another name - IDOL!

Ouch! But isn't it a good thing to want to know things, isn't it helpful. Well it is - but often my knowledge binges lead me further from the truth of God's word and out into the murky waters of relativism. The other day on PBS they were showing a program talking about how scientists are trying to thread electrical impulses directly into the brain to control thoughts. Wow! This is a technical innovation but it also sounds like brainwashing in a very frightening way to me - where are the limits of science? At this point I told my husband that our kiddo needs a good dose of ethics if he's going to become a scientist - murky waters I tell ya.

So I guess the question I grapple with is how, as a Christian, do I deal with the overwhelming amount of knowledge available to us while still staying connected to Christ? How do I make sure that I have a foundation in stone, not the sand? How do we help our children in a "knowledge economy" without making it an idol in their lives? We'll continue to talk about this - right now I'm just starting to wonder about this.

Pet Theory #1

After trying to organize my house I am reminded of one of my personal pet theories. Now that my living space is a little more organized I am moving back into the world of organizing ideas - which is what I much prefer to do. Actually, my roommate in college and I were a winning combination. People came to us to help them with their papers. I would sit and help them think through the ideas and what they were really trying to argue and my roommate was a great editor (still is - she gets paid for it!). So we helped many a person improve their writing - but I digress (she never did help me improve my grammar - but that's because I'm set in my poor grammar ways - like run on sentences).

I believe that people excel or at least prefer one of these three areas of organization: things, people or ideas. Those who are good at organizing things are interior designers, people who actually have a place and put everything in its place, etc. Others are really excellent at organizing people and getting a team together to accomplish a goal. Finally, there are those who like to organize ideas and work through arguments, etc. Again, we can all do these things - but normally we prefer one of these areas over the others. I actually used this as a question in an interview process that I did once and it was interesting to hear people's responses.

To be quite honest, I normally have a friend that comes in to help me organize my space (thanks Colleen and Sarah) but now that they have married and moved out of town - I don't have anyone to help me with that dirty work anymore. So my husband and I did it together - we are both more idea organizers that anything else - so you can imagine the results are not up to par for people who are truly "thing" organizers.

So what about you - are you a things, people or idea organizer?

Brrrrrrr

Well this is as cold as it gets here. We have now been "iced" in for about 2 days. We were planning on finishing up cleaning anyway - so this has worked out nicely. My husband also fortified our video collection in expectation of the storm. This time he actually picked some movies that I found pretty funny. Someone said that there have been over 400 vehicle accidents in the San Antonio area. Well, we care barely drive when it rains around here - so you can imagine that ice has sent us over the edge. Apparently I-10 is closed from downtown San Antonio halfway to El Paso. There are tons of truckers stuck in little ol' Boerne waiting to get on the road. Apparently one reporter accidentally pulled the door handle off her car door when it was iced over (poor craftsmanship?). We haven't lost electricity, Internet or television - so all is good here. So, yes, we are wimpy here in South Texas - a little bit of ice does close down the 10th largest city in America - but it's better to be safe than sorry! This is a picture of the icicles hanging off of our house that my husband took this morning. Pretty impressive (they he knocked them all off). All I can say is that I'm glad I am not at my old job. Being cooped up with 40 teenagers for these two days would be a little much for my patience. Although I did check in on them and they all seem to be surviving (hey - no school is a nice thing). So, here's hoping that the ice lets up soon and we can once again travel the highways and byways of our fair city.

Who are my neighbors?

We live in a very interesting neighborhood. It was built in the early 1950's and some of our neighbors have brought up their families here and are now in their 70's and 80's. At the end of the block, in the sidewalk, you can see where some children wrote the year in the cement - 1953. So we live in a little piece of post world war II history - we were the suburbs.

While that's interesting, the part I like about our neighborhood is what I can see from my front yard. From my front yard I can see the mansion that is a block over, the city park (that used to be a YMCA), regular apartments and I think some section 8 (government) low income apartments, a nursing home and a Mormon church. This is in addition to just the normal houses on our block. I still haven't figured out why there is a big mansion on the corner with a nice fence around it. It seems very out of place there. I actually hadn't realized how big it was until just recently and it's right across from the government housing. Very odd. One reason I wanted to live in this neighborhood was the great playground, pool and basketball court nearby. In the fall we watched lots of little kids practice football on the field and during most of the year there is a pretty active adult night basketball league on the outdoor courts. I also like having the nursing home near. I have visions of us making cards and visiting with the people there. I wonder who lives in the government housing and I wonder if it actually is government housing (I tried to look it up but wasn't very successful). The Mormon church is fascinating to me and they have quite a large congregation it seems (although I can't think of any Mormons that I know in San Antonio) - yesterday they were still going strong when we got home from church at 2 pm.

So hopefully we'll get to know all of our neighbors a little bit. I guess that means I should get out of my house and at least walk around the block every once in a while.

Doggy Inspiration

Normally stories about dogs in our area are pretty sad. We have quite a few stray dogs that wander around. However, recently I saw two encouraging dog incidents as I drove around.

The first incident bucks the stereotype of dog vs. mailman. As I was driving around last week I saw a group of dogs (about five or six) that were in a backyard behind a chainlink fence. They were all very excited about something and pawing over each other to get up the side of the fence. Then I realized that they were greeting the mailman! It looked like the mailman had something for them (who knows what it was - but they obviously wanted it). So, it looks like there may be peace on earth after all! If the mailcarrier and the dog can find peace maybe the rest of us can too.

Yesterday as I was driving down a major thoroughfare I saw a man walking his small dog. Nothing too unusual about that. However, as I looked closer I realized that this little guy was missing his front right leg. He had a leash on like any other dog and you could barely tell that he was missing his leg. He was just enjoying his walk. It's amazing what can be compensated for if we are willing to try and overcome.

So, I normally do not pay much attention to the pet world (because I'm allergic to most of it) but I thought these two incidents were worth mentioning. Who knows what you'll see on the side of the road today!

Mr./Mrs. Fix It?

Once upon a time I helped put together a marriage conference for all of our friends. There were 12 women who attended and 6 ladies who served as the "marriage" panel. It was a pretty powerful weekend. Anyway, part of our focus that weekend was about misplaced and unspoken expectations hurting a marriage. Recently I have been discovering why some things never happen around our new house - and it's all because of expectations.

In my house growing up my Dad was Mr. Fix It. He really can fix most everything and does (unless it requires special knowledge). However, in my husbands family his mom fixed everything. Somehow, both my husband and I managed to learn almost nothing about fixing anything while we were growing up. (Probably because we expected our spouse of the opposite sex would just come knowing how to do these things - like our parents did). So now, in our house, we each sit around expecting the other to take the initative and have the skills to fix things like leaky sinks, etc.

I think we might be breaking down these expectations though. Recently we had two "fix it" incidents. One incident involved me running into our sliding glass door and breaking it. It hung in place for about 3 days and then my Dad and husband dismantled it shortly after Christmas. (They said I must be tough because a hammer wasn't easily breaking the glass). The other situation was with our dishwasher - it got so clogged that water couldn't get through to wash the dishes. My husband took the initiative and fixed our dishwasher - after reading about it at the library. Who knew a turkey baster had so many uses! So now we have a fixed dishwasher (with much less soap scum) thanks to my husbands good work.

So I think we will have to figure out for our family who does what in the "fix it" department. Often, to be honest, we call our friends and family to help fix it - they are much more knowledgable than we are. But, we are both open to learning and setting new expectations for our marriage and each other in this area. I don't think either of us relish fixing things - but we are learning to do what it takes. Funny how expectations about little things creep in when you least expect it.

The leavins'

Well for our new year we have undertaken the task of decluttering our house. When even our single male friends realize that our house is a babyproofing nightmare - something has to be done! Today our little one is successfully rolling onto his side and soon enough he'll figure out how to get all the way over. So we have thrown out a bunch of stuff (although I am having trouble throwing away some of my college essays). Our biggest problem is books - what if we need them again? So we have moved a lot of them into the garage. In some senses we have spread the clutter out more than removed it - but our house is more babyproof.

The other issue is that after you get all of these things out there are small items that you just don't know what to do with. I have a pretty good memory so I remember that almost all of our 13 blankets come from somebody who was thinking of us. I also was given quite a collection of jewlery boxes and similar items from my former students. Has anyone ever seen me wear jewlery?? They are beautiful but what do you do with them? So if you came to visit right now you would probably wonder if we cleaned at all - but really we have - our closets are more organized!

In the end decluttering is frustrating because I wonder - why do we have all this stuff? Yet at the same time I have trouble getting rid of it. It's very conflicting. You would think this would encourage me not to buy new things - but somehow I still manage to find new things that I want - especially books. So our goal for this weekend is to clean up "the leavins" and make our house presentable for the upcoming super bowl party. We'll see how far we get before it all gets stuffed into the closet without sorting it out.