Goal Setting with kids

In Keys to Your Child's Heart I like the way Gary Smalley discusses setting goals with your kids. He emphasizes teaching children about goals and allowing kids to set their own goals. He encourages parents to begin by asking the child what level of competency and ability they want to achieve in that area on a scale of 1 to 10. One is that they want to learn enough to get by, 5 is average and 10 indicates that they hope to be a professional or expert someday. I thought this is a good way for parents to help understand the level of their children's interest and figure out how to best support them to that level. He gives the example of his daughter and piano lessons. As parents, they hoped her interest was at about a level 8 (interested in performing for others, etc.) . However, she was only interested in about a level 5 in that area and so she became proficient but did not really want to go any further.

I like this idea because sometimes I feel we tell kids that they need to be excellent at everything and that just isn't so. This helps kids understand that they can make choices about how they spend their time and helps them to consider what they want to achieve. It gives parents a way to gauge and support their child's interest and motivation in a subject. We can't all be good at everything, but if we think about it we can plan and prepare ourselves to be excellent in the things that are most important to us. As parents, it's our job to help our children figure out their interests and then help them to grow into those areas well. It's this type of parenting that is meant in the scripture "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6). I don't think this means only the spiritual or moral side of development, it also means helping our children discover the unique way God made them and how to use their gifts to the full potential.