Raising Children Boring?

Recently I was browsing the Family Life Today website and came across a link to this interesting article "Sorry but my children bore me to death!". It is an article written by a mom who doesn't enjoy the realities of parenting. She tells her children that she loves them but really doesn't want to spend too much time with them. I do agree with her caution that some people go overboard putting their children at the very center of their lives. However, the choice to have children requires a sacrifice - either of the parents or the child. It sounds like she is choosing to sacrifice raising her own children so that she does not have to give up her education and career plans.

A lot of people attack her because she seems selfish (which is true). However, I feel sorry for her because it seems that she cannot find joy in the little things. One of the things I am looking forward to most is the "new eyes" that kids can give you on life. They are so excited about the little things - as adults sometimes we forget the wonder of new flowers, little bugs and similar discoveries. This is obviously not higher order thinking - but it is good to remember to be awed and amazed at our world sometimes.

She is also missing the long term impact that parenting will have on your child. You are helping to shape a life - for better or worse. This is an activity that demands a lot of thought, care and discipline. It is difficult because the rewards (or sorrows) aren't reaped for years. So, it is hard to know if reading this book for the zillionth time or singing a silly nursery rhyme will make a difference - but the little things add up in the long run. If you aren't there to do them then you are missing out on the moments that will encourage, shape, discipline and grow your child. Either someone else will do it or the opportunity is lost forever.

So, although the little things that are new to them may not be too interesting, the actual process of helping to influence and shape a human being does call on all our emotional, physical and mental resources. This is hard work and frankly a lot of people aren't really up the challenge.

I have to agree with one comment that I read about her piece. It mentioned that this was a thought provoking article but she hopes that the author's kids never read it! I second that. For all of her talk about loving her children, love is at some point laying down your life for others. Not to the exclusion of your needs entirely (this is the danger of the child-centric mom) but at least to the extent that the child knows you have an interest in and respect their abilities.

Parenting is hard work and all work is boring at times. Just be careful about sending the message to your kids that they are boring, unimportant, not worth your time. I fear that's what she might be doing inadvertantly with her children. Children will cope because they are resilient - but at what expense?